I laughed so hard reading this! I grew up in the Caribbean where not only are our beaches gorgeous and breezy and warm but also lack seagulls. When I was in my 20s I went with my then boyfriend (now husband) and his family to the Jersey shore (USA). I was sitting eating a sandwich and gesticulating as I talked, and my boyfriend said “careful, a seagull will take that sandwich”. I kind of gaped at him and was like “what?” And then in perfect timing, a seagull swooped down, stole my ENTIRE sandwich. I was already not enamored of the Jersey Shore—that cemented my dislike. We got married on a beach—on the island where I spent most of my youth. Not a seagull in sight.
And I’m 47 and definitely still run around like a loon, my arms all windmilling whenever I’m forced to the shore and those damn seagulls come about.
This did make me chuckle, and feel for you . They are horrid. I too had an experience in Weymouth. My then 3 year old was mid chomp on a sandwich when 2 seagulls swooped , a tactic which they frequently use ,1 to distract whilst the other swiped the sandwich out of his hand. Enraged I took my flipflop off , threw it and hit one of the seagulls on the head. It staggered slightly and my son started laughing and I felt quite chuffed .However this was short lived as I was told off by the family beside me who had been feeding the sea gulls chips. They said they would call the RSPB on me. I responded by giving my best Paddington Bear stare but was also worried that they might actually report me ,the tell tale tits. 17 years on my son still remarks and laughs about the episode when he sees a seagull,so I suppose there is a plus side to it.
This unlocked a traumatic memory for me. I was about twelve and happy with my Mr Whippy walking along the front at West Bay. I was also viscously attacked by a winged monster from behind, who stole the ice cream, but pitifully left the flake. Fortunately the lady at the ice cream hut replaces ice creams for those who fall victim to seagulls. I've never forgotten that day.
OMG, this is both hysterical and not funny at all, but nevertheless i can visualize you failing your arms and screaming. your kids screaming, and the damn birds squawking!
I don't know about everyone else, but the next time I am out for a lovely family picnic I am going to pack a TENNIS RACKET, just in case!!!! LOL
BTW, I can't find your book on Amazon US. Is there another way to order it? Thought to be honest, I may need to get the audio as well. Hearing you read the book is bound to be so much more fun.
You don't realise how big these wretched birds are till they're right next to you with open wings flapping away. They're huge and intimidating and give you the evil eye if you're unlucky enough to be that close. Last summer a friend with her 2 children sat on Bournemouth beach covered by two very large black golfing brollys happily munching away on their fish'n'chip lunches. It looked odd, but it worked. My own preference would have been to be inside a cafe, safely out of harms way!
Ha ha. Bloody seagulls! Last summer, a big beast of one came for my 6 year old’s cone. She yelled and lamped the whole ice cream straight on its head while I flapped more than the seagull! I promised her that the seagull would tell all his bird mates she was too tough to steal food from. Hope you were all ok and unscathed!
You are blameless here, and quite right your husband had no room to talk while in zero danger. Seagulls are complete assholes. Did you know they will vomit on you if displeased? It's vile. I grew up in Seattle and we were plagued with these garbage birds. Still, I hate Canada Geese even more. They are bigger and will knock you down to take your food from you!
Pesky little things. They remind me of old men, strolling around with their hands laced at the back, judging our poor choices as humans. I will not forget the day one of them stole my tuna sandwich from Tesco. They don’t even care for taste. I am convinced they probably even spit the food out. They attack for the sake of attacking. Something has to be done… do you suppose we could find “self-defense anti-seagull attack” classes?
You had a Hitchkockian experience indeed. You should watch the movie to see how on fact you did survive!!! I would do mad if they stole some of my mango sorbet!
I live on the North Yorkshire coast where the seagulls are now so cocky and confident, when they’re not swooping down on unsuspecting outdoor snackers, they just saunter casually along the footpaths. Can’t even be bothered to fly now that they’re ruling the town 🙄🤣
I laughed so hard reading this! I grew up in the Caribbean where not only are our beaches gorgeous and breezy and warm but also lack seagulls. When I was in my 20s I went with my then boyfriend (now husband) and his family to the Jersey shore (USA). I was sitting eating a sandwich and gesticulating as I talked, and my boyfriend said “careful, a seagull will take that sandwich”. I kind of gaped at him and was like “what?” And then in perfect timing, a seagull swooped down, stole my ENTIRE sandwich. I was already not enamored of the Jersey Shore—that cemented my dislike. We got married on a beach—on the island where I spent most of my youth. Not a seagull in sight.
And I’m 47 and definitely still run around like a loon, my arms all windmilling whenever I’m forced to the shore and those damn seagulls come about.
No seagulls: the dream.
This did make me chuckle, and feel for you . They are horrid. I too had an experience in Weymouth. My then 3 year old was mid chomp on a sandwich when 2 seagulls swooped , a tactic which they frequently use ,1 to distract whilst the other swiped the sandwich out of his hand. Enraged I took my flipflop off , threw it and hit one of the seagulls on the head. It staggered slightly and my son started laughing and I felt quite chuffed .However this was short lived as I was told off by the family beside me who had been feeding the sea gulls chips. They said they would call the RSPB on me. I responded by giving my best Paddington Bear stare but was also worried that they might actually report me ,the tell tale tits. 17 years on my son still remarks and laughs about the episode when he sees a seagull,so I suppose there is a plus side to it.
They were feeding them chips? I’d have hit them with my flip flop! Twits!
This unlocked a traumatic memory for me. I was about twelve and happy with my Mr Whippy walking along the front at West Bay. I was also viscously attacked by a winged monster from behind, who stole the ice cream, but pitifully left the flake. Fortunately the lady at the ice cream hut replaces ice creams for those who fall victim to seagulls. I've never forgotten that day.
This was west bay too!
OMG, this is both hysterical and not funny at all, but nevertheless i can visualize you failing your arms and screaming. your kids screaming, and the damn birds squawking!
I don't know about everyone else, but the next time I am out for a lovely family picnic I am going to pack a TENNIS RACKET, just in case!!!! LOL
That’s an idea!
Wishing you a good day from New York.
BTW, I can't find your book on Amazon US. Is there another way to order it? Thought to be honest, I may need to get the audio as well. Hearing you read the book is bound to be so much more fun.
You don't realise how big these wretched birds are till they're right next to you with open wings flapping away. They're huge and intimidating and give you the evil eye if you're unlucky enough to be that close. Last summer a friend with her 2 children sat on Bournemouth beach covered by two very large black golfing brollys happily munching away on their fish'n'chip lunches. It looked odd, but it worked. My own preference would have been to be inside a cafe, safely out of harms way!
I might devise some sort of anti gull hat. I’d make a fortune.
Ha ha. Bloody seagulls! Last summer, a big beast of one came for my 6 year old’s cone. She yelled and lamped the whole ice cream straight on its head while I flapped more than the seagull! I promised her that the seagull would tell all his bird mates she was too tough to steal food from. Hope you were all ok and unscathed!
Have given my kids a total complex but apart from that… ha.
"Hunch & Guard!" is my new favourite phrase. Bravo.
It’s borderline Alan Partridge.
I look at people who appear as ‘grown ups’ and just assume they are frauds or psychopaths at this point.
Hahahaha
I hate bloody seagulls. And they are really scary. I would have reacted in the same way. Total panic and screaming.
It wasn’t a proud moment but I thank you for your solidarity.
This is hilarious! The gulls have become brazen
They’re taking over.
You are blameless here, and quite right your husband had no room to talk while in zero danger. Seagulls are complete assholes. Did you know they will vomit on you if displeased? It's vile. I grew up in Seattle and we were plagued with these garbage birds. Still, I hate Canada Geese even more. They are bigger and will knock you down to take your food from you!
WHAT?! This is a new level of horror.
Pesky little things. They remind me of old men, strolling around with their hands laced at the back, judging our poor choices as humans. I will not forget the day one of them stole my tuna sandwich from Tesco. They don’t even care for taste. I am convinced they probably even spit the food out. They attack for the sake of attacking. Something has to be done… do you suppose we could find “self-defense anti-seagull attack” classes?
Imagine if this is how the human race ends. Seagulls just take over.
You had a Hitchkockian experience indeed. You should watch the movie to see how on fact you did survive!!! I would do mad if they stole some of my mango sorbet!
All I’m going to say is: Hitchcock choose birds for a reason 😅
So true.
I live on the North Yorkshire coast where the seagulls are now so cocky and confident, when they’re not swooping down on unsuspecting outdoor snackers, they just saunter casually along the footpaths. Can’t even be bothered to fly now that they’re ruling the town 🙄🤣
I’d love to see some stats on how much more confident they are vs say twenty years ago. I mean they are BULLETPROOF!
I am 62 and still not an adult… hopefully for you I am an outlier 😂
Ha!
Also 62 & despite having been left in charge of whole hospitals when I worked I still refuse to grow up.
I was braver at 11 when a German shepherd dog went to attack me & I punched it in the nose. It slick await whimpering. Now I’d be far less competent!
I’m a little bit behind you at 57, but also not an adult. Perhaps we should start an outliers club 😜